A friend of mine has an issue in his life right now, and he asked for some advice. He cheated on his wife and she has taken it pretty hard. It's been maybe a year now and she still gets really paranoid that he is still cheating. He gets really mad at her every time she feels insecure about the situation, because he says he'll never do it again an he's sorry. She loves him but still fears he might be lying. She won't leave because she loves him and wants to be with him till death do them part. She also can't prove that her worries are factual. It's just the "I'm scared it may happen again " type thing. Now my friend wants to be forgiven and just sweep this under the rug, as if he spilled juice on her dress......but it's real to her. Now he is sorta like a hypocrite to me because I recall him and his mother going through something an he won't forgive her an it's been 35+yrs. He wants forgiveness but can't give it ,uh bit selfish to me. So I ask you, what is the time limit on forgiveness? Is it based on the person or the situation? Should he put a time on how long she can hurt, or be worried? I say PTSD is real in all situations where some sort of trauma is concerned. Most people believe only war can cause PTSD. Not true at all. As for my friends issue I don't think anyone can judge how long a person can be hurt, scared or paranoid over a traumatic event. Everyone heals different, just like everyone hurts different. Respect our differences and don't be hypocrites about everything. Do to others as you want done to you. WHAT DO YOU THINK WORLD ? John Fennell
Scenario 1
Updated: Feb 28
Forgiveness is always for the person wronged. It's never easy and it doesn't take away from your hurt. However, I do think talking it out and trying to work through it is possible if you love one another. Trust will have to be rebuilt but I do think the relationship can be restored.
This is a tricky one. You are absolutley right John you cannot put a time-frame on how long a person may hurt from an incident against them. All I would like to say is life is too short to dwell on the past. If you can't forgive or move on maybe it's best to heal yourself with some help or get back in line with yourself. Tricky scenario, however, a common one. We are human and make mistakes and fall into temptation. I hope your friend and his wife are able to heal from this and move on together and be happy.
This is interesting, however how long do you dwell on the trauma and work on healing?